Leaving her native Norway just over 20 years ago to study for a master’s in the UK, Sissel Heiberg didn’t have a grand plan for her career. As it turned out, she has gone from internal audit in the financial services sector to writing a book about leadership and now, her own specialised jewellery business.
‘My experiences have taken on a life of their own,’ she says – with impressive results.
It was during a demanding 10-year career in internal audit with Deutsche Bank – where she rose to global head of methodology and later global head of frameworks and plan oversight – that she gradually developed an interest in leadership, and in ‘quiet leading’ in particular.
‘The Quiet Leader arose from frustration, in seeing good people overlooked’
Squeaky wheels
‘I am an introvert, along with 50% of the population,’ she says. ‘But it became clear to me over the years that there is a disconnect between the soft skills that are expected of leaders today – such as self-awareness, humility, listening skills – and the people who tend to make it to leadership roles. We say we want one thing, then act in an entirely different way.’ Just as the squeakiest wheel gets the oil, the most vocal people tend to make it more often to leadership roles.
In 2022, after returning from a three-month sabbatical that she spent cycling from the US east coast to the west coast, she submitted a book proposal to the publishing house Pearson. The result is Quiet Leader: What you can learn from the power of introverts, published in October 2024.
‘It arose from frustration, I suppose, in seeing good people overlooked. There was one point when there were two people in my team. One – let’s call them A – who was very outgoing and very vocal about what they felt they were achieving, and the other, B, who just quietly got on with it. My supervisor said that A was probably ready for promotion, when my performance assessment of them both showed that B was far more capable. I found that intriguing. What was the bias here?’
‘We need to showcase all the things an introvert brings to the table’
Many leadership books, she points out, tend to focus on how you can ‘fix’ introversion to become a better leader, and leadership training can be skewed towards extroverted preferences and behaviours, such as group brainstoming sessions.
‘In an ideal world, we would all have awareness of our differences, and it wouldn’t be that one way is better than the other. All would be equally valid. So what we need to do is showcase all of the things that an introvert brings to the table.’
Qualities of value
Introverts have specific qualities – they tend to be naturally good listeners, empathetic and receptive to ideas, and therefore better able to motivate employees and make them feel valued, which leads to better performance.
Quiet Leader invites introverts to embrace their qualities – reflection, self-awareness, calmness, empathy, humility, and the ability to listen and observe – and argues that if organisations valued these qualities, and if everyone’s view of what good looks like is expanded, ‘we will increase the expectation on all leaders and elevate leadership across the board’.
She would like to see us reach a stage where introverts are comfortable saying who they are, rather than trying to hide their introversion in order to get on. She also sets out clearly the definition of an introvert, making the point that it is often mistaken for shyness or a lack of confidence.
‘When I was growing up, my mother, who is an extrovert, used to make me go and talk to the cashier in a store and pay for our shopping, because she considered me to be shy and wanted to help me overcome it. I thought that was fascinating because I didn’t feel shy. She was mislabelling my introvertism, and that happens a lot.’
‘We need to be aware of our biases when we think about what is a good leader’
Rethink
She stresses she is not arguing that introverts make better leaders, or that extroverts are bad leaders.
‘I’m saying that we need to think about what we consider a good leader to be, and be aware of the biases we bring to the table when we think about what is a good leader.’ Introvert traits – such as preferring to think through a sentence carefully before speaking or preferring to recharge in solitude – do not impact someone’s ability to be a good leader.
‘We just need to challenge our assumptions,’ she says. ‘If we do that, we can get to the point where we make a conscious decision about the leaders we want.
‘How we talk about things is important, and there is an expectation of extroversion being the default in leadership. I think that’s damaging, because it ends up with introversion being seen as different and “other”.’
‘I used to make jewellery as a way of managing stress earlier in my career’
Sensory jewellery
Neurodiversity has been a theme throughout her career and, she says, it feels like she has come ‘full circle’ with her latest career move. This year she will launch her new business, Foss & Bjørn, selling sensory jewellery for adults with ADHD, autism and other sensory challenges.
The jewellery, inspired by Scandinavian locations and designed by Heiberg herself, will provide a discreet outlet for anyone who needs to self-soothe during the day or change repetitive behaviour such as nail-biting.
‘I want people to be able to wear these pieces with pride because it looks good, but because it also has a function,’ she says.
‘I sat on the neurodiversity steering committee at Deutsche Bank and led the mental health first aider group, so this was a natural progression. I used to make jewellery as a way of managing stress earlier in my career, so it’s nice to come back to something that gave me peace and calm, and hopefully make something that gives the same to other people.’
