When you work with numbers, and in such a highly regulated profession, empathy may not immediately register as a commercial priority. But trusted relationships, whether with clients, your team or wider organisation, are as important as technical skills. Clients and colleagues must feel as though they can rely on you and each other.
When people describe someone they trust, they refer to qualities such as reliability, fairness and integrity. They also describe someone who listens carefully and tries to understand their position – in other words, someone who shows empathy. So to have healthy relationships, we need to build trust, and to build trust we need to demonstrate empathy.
Some people have empathy in abundance; others have to choose to develop it
If empathy is not your natural strength, the good news is that it can be developed. But first, it helps to understand what it actually means.
Empathy is often misunderstood as emotional expression, or talking about feelings. But in professional settings, it is neither. It is the disciplined ability to recognise another person’s perspective and to respond in a way that shows you have understood it. It does not require you to become agreeable or to lower expectations. Empathy simply requires you to pay attention.
Humans have an innate capacity for empathy. Some people have it in abundance, and other people have to choose to develop it.
No excuses
In high-pressure environments, our attention can narrow as we focus on targets and deadlines. A common objection to being more empathic at work is time. ‘I don’t have time to listen to someone else’s stress,’ you may say. However, research consistently shows its importance: empathy strengthens psychological safety, indicates fairness and fosters trust. In these conditions, engagement rises, attrition falls, burnout risks reduce and customer care improves. It is clear: empathy does not detract from performance, it enhances it.
If you’re not taking a few minutes to attend to someone who may need support but doesn’t know how to ask for help, a negative ripple effect can occur. That person disengages from their task, they make mistakes that will surface too late and team morale begins to dip, causing performance to decline.
Empathy, properly understood, is preventative risk management
It’s a bleak picture but it is avoidable. Five minutes spent asking the right question about a missed deadline may reveal a simple systems issue, a misunderstanding or a personal capacity problem. Those same five minutes may prevent months of frustration, performance management and even sickness absence. Empathy, properly understood, is preventative risk management.
When leaders struggle with empathy, it is rarely because they lack humanity. More often they underestimate its relevance, or they have not paused long enough to try to understand others.
Curiosity changes that. A single question, such as ‘Talk me through what happened,’ alters the direction of a conversation. Listening without interrupting, giving quieter voices airtime, and checking assumptions before drawing conclusions – these behaviours help build trust.
Cognitive empathy
For our purposes, it’s helpful to distinguish between the two types of empathy: cognitive and emotional. Cognitive empathy involves understanding another’s perspective. Emotional empathy involves feeling with them. As cognitive empathy is both useful in the workplace and easier to develop, we will focus on that.
When you notice someone struggling at work, you do not need to feel their stress, but you do need to be able to acknowledge that they feel stressed. Learning anything requires two things: that you believe you can develop this skill, and that you choose to try.
Becoming kinder to yourself helps you be kinder to others
Five practical ways
Empathic leadership is expressed through five disciplined behaviours.
- Attend fully. Give someone your attention rather than half-listening while scanning emails. Notice tone and tension. Be prepared to ask questions to check in with them.
- Lead with curiosity. Before offering advice or correction, ask an open question. ‘What do you think is driving this?’ Thoughtful questions often produce better solutions than suggesting quick fixes or explaining strategies that worked for you.
- Maintain an open mind. By withholding blame or judgment, you are simply connecting. Offer phrases such as ‘That sounds like it’s been tough for you.’ This acknowledges their feelings without either judging or rescuing them.
- Combine empathy with courage. Do not avoid difficult conversations, and involve the individual in finding a solution – for example, ‘This needs to be delivered by Thursday, so let’s look at what needs to change or what type of support you need.’
- Learn to bring more kindness to your own discomfort and stress. Becoming kinder to yourself not only benefits you but also helps you to be kinder towards others.
The next time a colleague is stressing, take five minutes to listen carefully and understand what’s happening with them. Act with empathy, and that handful of minutes will help build the trust that your team, your business and your customers need to flourish.
